Take this face (book) and shove it

By Gerry Warner
Cranbrook Daily Townsman
Nov. 29. 2009
Am I the only person in Cranbrook not on Facebook? If that’s the case, a pat on the back for me because for once I’ve done something right.
Don’t get me wrong, the millions of you that are on Facebook and My Space, or those of you who spend the majority of your waking hours with a cell phone glued to your ear, an IPod in the other while you reach for your Blackberry or some other electronic gizmo to keep in touch while you Twitter your time away updating your blog.
What is the world coming to when we feel compelled – nay obsessed – with “keeping in touch” 24 hours-a-day or"tweeting?" (“woke up with a hangover,” “had a fight with the boss,” “blew my nose,” “bought some hemorrhoid cream,” I mean really!)
You probably heard about the English woman whose employer fired her after she posted a message on Facebook about how “bord” (sic) she was with her job. Virgin Atlantic Airlines fired 13 of its employees after they made disparaging remarks on a blog site about some of their passengers. A Boston Celtics player was upbraided by his coach for posting a Twitter message about the game at halftime.
Where’s it going to end? Have the tentacles of the World Wide Web wrapped themselves around us so tightly they’ve squeezed out our brains? If nothing else, you’d think so from the way people write on the Web: “BTW, I luv U. TTYL. LOL” (Consult your Webspeak dictionary.) Or is it that the 140 characters in a Twitter “tweet” is about as much as the under 30 generation can master these days?
I heard on CBC this morning that the average teenager sends 2,000 “texts a month. That’s right, 2,000! I wonder how many of those texts were sent while those kids were in school supposedly “learning.” Why are students even allowed to have these infernal instruments at school? Much of what passes through cyberspace between kids holding cell phones in their sweaty palms is of a gossiping, socializing and even bullying nature. They’re certainly not discussing Shakespeare or quantum physics. So why is it allowed?
Maybe it’s because their social-networking parents are doing the same thing?
Periodically I get e-mails, asking me to be their “friend” on Facebook. I’ve thought about it because a lot of journalists are using Facebook these days to dig up information they couldn’t find otherwise. But so far at least, I’ve resisted Facebook’s siren call. What helped me was one Facebook solicitation I received from a gentleman of about the same age as me (50 or so LOL) that said if I became his “friend” on Facebook I could view pictures of him. Hmmm. I seriously doubt people want to see pictures of me as I approach senility as dignified as I can and those once tight pectorals are sagging a bit.
Why would I want to see a picture of the equivalent?
Whatever happened in this world to the joys of solitude? Or keeping one’s own counsel? Of going for lunch without a cell phone or being in touch?” I’m told in Japan you have to check your cell phones, mobile devices and Blackberries at the door in restaurants and theatres. What a civilized culture!
Mind you, I must give the Gordon Campbell government in B.C. credit for introducing legislation to curb cell phone use while driving. Some say the legislation doesn’t go far enough, but at least they’ve started.
Still there are some deeper issues here, like “Balloon Boy.” (LOL) I honestly think (and hope) that this bizarre hoax might mark a turning point in the evolution of Western culture. Yes, we in the media looked like fools on that one. But why did we? Because there’s a huge market for this kind of thing – like all of you who watch so-called “realty TV – and the media was simply answering market demand.
What was boneheaded Richard Henne doing when he callously exploited his 10-year-old son and entire family with his harebrained scheme? He was trying to get his own TV “reality” show. And if he had, how many of you would have watched it? All too many, I fear.
Think about that the next time you’re in a crowded theatre or driving down the Strip and you reach for your cell phone with its ridiculous ring. (LOL).

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